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We eat babies

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[01 Sep 2009|07:40am]

avalokita
Eric Northman thinks children, or "tea-cup humans," are delicious. I'm happy to see baby-eating is alive and well on True Blood.
Suffocate something...

Baby+calamari=? [08 Aug 2006|01:38pm]

james_the_evil1
for the answer:
http://www.joehavasyillustration.com/c19.html

Thanks to corpsefairy for this one
Suffocate something...

new recipe! [31 Jul 2006|05:05pm]

james_the_evil1
[ mood | sick ]

Got this thru a list friend :-)

Christian Baby Soup
Tzimon Yliaster

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Secret Recipe for our famous Kaos Kitchens Kristian Kinderzuppe has been kept secret long enough. The time has come to reveal the secret formula for the soup that Discordians have come to know and love.

Ingredients:

One Christian child of age 4-6 months, around 15 lbs. Episcopalian when in season.
6 large turnips
1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese
The Archbishop of Canterbury
2 cans Campbell's Chile Poblano soup
A 20 lb. sledgehammer
8 medium potatoes, sliced
1 liter Everclear grain alcohol
3 cups bong water
10 gallons ice cream (flavor optional)
1 chloroform-soaked cloth (optional)
1 shotgun
Shackle the child in the basement and force feed it the ice cream over the course of three or four days. Helpful tip: keep the leads on the shackles long and let the child move around a bit. Tougher meat means tastier soup!

When you run out of ice cream, the child is ready for the pot. While the chloroform-soaked cloth *is* optional, it often helps first-timers with the next step; using the sledgehammer. In any case, it's best to get it over with in one swing, or the screaming gets very irritating.

Bring the bong water and Everclear to a rolling boil and toss in the baby, turnips, potatoes, and chile poblano soup. Allow to simmer while you go out and stalk the Archbishop of Canterbury, waiting for the perfect moment to use the shotgun. When I shoot the Archbishop of Canterbury, I always try to get off a clean, fairly close-range shot. Remember, these are *people* we're cooking, so we should be humane about it. Just aim right between his eyes and squeeze the trigger slowly.

Once you've shot the Archbishop of Canterbury, take his shoes and discard the rest. Anyone who's ever gotten a bad dish of Archbishop for dinner will understand why. I suppose I could have just asked for his shoes, but I like to make my time in the kitchen an adventure. If it takes you as long to get to the Archbishop as it takes me, by the time you return, the mixture in the pot should have a brownish-green color and a thick, lumpy consistency. Simply add the shoes and boil for another 3-6 hours. If you run out of liquid, add some more water, and maybe some beef broth if you're into that sort of thing (frankly, I find the idea of eating animals appalling).

Allow to cool for a few minutes and then sprinkle the parmesan cheese on top. Call all you friends - it's baby soup just like Mom used to make!

Makes 3-5 servings.

wish I had a hot bowl right now, it'd probably cure my cold

Suffocate something...

Now here's a more realistic fairy tale [30 May 2006|11:56am]

james_the_evil1
I wonder how she seasoned it??
Suffocate something...

Richard Chase Community [01 Apr 2006|01:04am]

lordpook1
Richard Chase at a baby's brains once. So I'll advertise my new community here:

Richard Chase Livejournal Community

A new group for discussion, fiction, and art related to serial killer Richard Chase. Chase is famous for his vicious murders of dogs, cats, and humans; the bodies of these victims were often sodomized, drained of blood, and devoured. All in all, a real go-getter. And he did it all to replenish his blood supply, as his soap-dish observations had confirmed that his heart was shrinking and his veins were filling with powder. And Nazi UFO's, too. Serious discussion is welcome, as is ironic fanart/fic. Plus, we have t-shirts. Seriously, join up.
[1] Killed a baby ||| Suffocate something...

[06 Feb 2006|03:14pm]

notrequired
[2] Killed a baby ||| Suffocate something...

[03 Dec 2005|03:23pm]

notrequired
http://www.engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=emergency-provisions.jpg&category=Adult%20Engrish&date=2005-04-20
[2] Killed a baby ||| Suffocate something...

[28 Nov 2005|02:14pm]

vividwings
Join FightStories!
Suffocate something...

I'm new and I'd like to share something... [17 Nov 2005|08:55pm]

freako_mako
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

RECIPE FOR THANKSGIVING BABY
Ingredients:
1 Live Baby
Stuffing
Killing utensils (these vary)
An oven
1/2 stick of butter
seasoning

Instructions:

Preheat oven at 450 degrees and prepare your baby tray in which you will place the baby in with butter. Take your live baby and either decapitate or suffocate. I like to break its ribs and let it bleed to death, the meat is much more tender.
After you have your dead baby bleeded and cleaned out open the insides and remove all organs save for the ones you'd like to leave. Some people leave the heart and the liver. Add butter and season your baby to taste, make sure to season both inside and outside. Take your desired stuffing and shove it up the baby's exterior, make sure to stuff it in good because it could be prone to opening. Sow up the exterior to keep stuffing in.
Place your baby in the oven and leave for 2-3 hours or until the meat looks golden. Remove from the over and cut the opening from the exterior, and serve at dinner. Make sure to accompany with mashed potatoes and peas.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Suffocate something...

x__x [23 Oct 2005|10:22pm]

folksbluesfey
http://mirrors.meepzorp.com/members.home.net/mcmahan/niel/


^How'd you like that baby for b-fast? It's fresh too!
[2] Killed a baby ||| Suffocate something...

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